Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between Oct. 21 and 28:
Fraud: 5 p.m., 3300 block of 20th St. SE. A man called police to report that his parents were the victims of an attempted fraud that had gone down weeks earlier.
Scram!: 1:39 p.m., 7078 Lakeland Hills Way SE. Taco Time employees took such offense at a man’s undisclosed misdeeds they booted him until 2021.
Controlled substance: 10:20 p.m., 521 Auburn Way S. Some guy brought heroin into Denny’s and, to make this short, police busted him.
Theft: 1:15 p.m., 13000 block of Southeast 282nd Street. Somebody stole someone else’s utility trailer.
Fraud: 9 a.m., 3700 block of Auburn Way S. One homo sapiens stole another’s personal check, which an unknown homo sapiens, who knows, perhaps the same one who thieved it, later cashed.
Commercial burglary: 5:49 a.m., 3214 A St. SE. Two guys committed a burglary of undisclosed stuff from Valley Towing
Commercial burglary: 230 Auburn Way N. Bad guys broke a small office window then slithered through the aperture to burglarize the joint.
Weapons offense: 1:10 p.m., 1015 24th St. NE. Somebody brought a knife to Cascade Middle School.
Disorderly conduct: 8:26 a.m., 3500 block of I Street Northeast. Police busted a man for an act of malicious mischief, undisclosed, and for disorderly conduct, likewise undisclosed.
Vandalism: 4:11 p.m., 801 4th St. NE. Auburn High School property suffered gang tagging.