Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between Oct. 1 and 4:
DUI: 6 a.m., 1100 block of 17th Street Southeast. Police arrested this dude for physical control, meaning something that impaired his ability to drive was sloshing about his gizzards while he was in his motor vehicle.
Building: 3 p.m., 1825 K St. SE. Somebody stole a clarinet from Olympic Middle School.
Trespassing: 1:44 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way SW. Police contacted a guy for being where he shouldn’t, whereupon he took to his legs and skedaddled.
Assault: 4:39 p.m., 1402 Outlet Collection Way SW. One guy assaulted another guy.
Theft: 5:08 p.m., 1101 Outlet Collection Way SW. Staff at Victoria’s Secret called to report thievery by a cast of two.
Trespassing: 6:44 p.m., 3312 Auburn Way S. Some guy who couldn’t comport himself as well as he should have in a sandwich shop got himself booted from Subway for a hard, three-year stint.
Assault with a knife: 9: 12 p.m., 3700 block of Auburn Way South. Police arrested a man for stabbing a woman.
Brotherly disaffection: 7:13 p.m., 29300 block of 63rd Place South. Some guy assaulted his brother.
Trespassing: 4:41 a.m., 1300 C St. NW. Police arrested a man for first-degree criminal trespassing and for delaying a train.
Lost property: 9:49 a.m., 801 Auburn Way N. Somebody found a red, specialized mountain bike and turned it over to Auburn Police.
Violation: 9 p.m., 2300 block of 27th Street Southeast. Somebody discovered the hard way that even a text message constitutes a violation of a protection order.
Lost property: 10:40 a.m., 5100 Kersey Way SE. Somebody turned a wallet over to Auburn Police.
Theft from motor vehicle: 11:11 a.m., 801 Auburn Way N. While a car was peaceably parked at Fred Mayer, somebody stole a wallet from it.
Theft from building: 6:11 p.m., 2117 Auburn Way S. Police busted man who’d filched a wallet.