Fairly Spiritual: This Christmas, aim low

Sometimes, I think we try too hard to make everything meaningful and heartfelt. This is particularly true of the holiday season. Yes, Christmas is definitely a great time to focus on the nobler virtues of existence. However, my lofty goal to make this “the best Christmas ever” might actually detract from the pursuit of more practical objectives. In other words, I am sometimes so busy reaching for the stars that I forget to grab hold of that which is within my grasp. Some of life’s most worthy tasks are in fact ... do-able. Unfortunately, some of life’s most worthy tasks also are rather boring.

Sometimes, I think we try too hard to make everything meaningful and heartfelt. This is particularly true of the holiday season.

Yes, Christmas is definitely a great time to focus on the nobler virtues of existence. However, my lofty goal to make this “the best Christmas ever” might actually detract from the pursuit of more practical objectives. In other words, I am sometimes so busy reaching for the stars that I forget to grab hold of that which is within my grasp. Some of life’s most worthy tasks are in fact … do-able. Unfortunately, some of life’s most worthy tasks also are rather boring.

With this in mind, I’m challenging all my readers to aim low this Christmas. Or, more aptly, to aim at a target you can actually hit. Before we bring peace on Earth and goodwill to all humankind, let’s start with a more pedestrian goal. This Christmas, let’s simply fight less. Before we change the world, let’s try and change the tone of our everyday holiday habits.

In our quest to facilitate fewer fights we will need to find ways to reduce Christmas related quarreling, griping, complaining, bemoaning, lecturing, nitpicking, and arguing. This means we need a greater awareness of grinch-triggering activities. To aid the discussion, I’d like to address a Christmas conflict accelerant.

Selecting, balancing decorating the tree

For many of us, there is no greater tradition than arguing about the Christmas tree. These arguments vary by individual family custom, but are unified in their absolute absurdity. Consequently, when dealing with your Christmas evergreen, it is important to be ever mindful of the following creed: “No matter what, I will not argue about anything that has anything to do with the Christmas tree.” This might seem like a simple promise, but it will require Herculean restraint.

For instance, no matter how incredibly overpriced that noble fir might be, this year you are not going to make your children cry as you loudly try to convince your spouse that a more reasonably priced fir equivalent would be more appropriate. Instead of lamenting the ridiculous notion of paying wine cellar prices for a dead shrub, you are going to graciously smile as you strap three hours of your paycheck onto the minivan.

Unlike last year, when you get home and try to secure your noble fir into a tiny metal stand, you are going to do it happily. Even if you spend one to two hours lying on your back tightening and loosening tiny screws as your spouse continually gives you vague directions such as “a little more that way” or “that’s good, but try to move it just a bit back to where it was before.”

No matter how long you lay prostrate under the tree, you will not shout back angrily phrases such as “your right or my right!” or “which wall?” or my favorite “what do you mean that’s good enough! Is it straight or isn’t it!” No, this year you are not going to fight about the Christmas tree.

This also includes decorating the tree. If your wife wants to spend four hours carefully positioning and repositioning the Christmas lights, that is simply her prerogative.

Why waste the day protesting an inevitability? Why slow down the process with unhelpful commentary? Instead of lamenting what is out of your control, this year try and count how many times you circle the tree. Remember, we aren’t aiming for the stars this year, we’re aiming for the lights. If she thinks the Christmas star is crooked, then get the step stool out again and go for it. If you want to really impress her, use your carpenter level for a third opinion.

Remember, Christmas is supposed to be fun. So have fun decorating the tree. Place the ornaments wherever you want, even though you know she will move each one of them after you’ve left the room. It’s not about efficiency, it’s not about opinions, it’s about tradition. Face it, this is your Christmas tradition.

Christ came to bring peace on Earth. I cannot think of a better way to apportion that peace than to quit fighting so much. Start a new tradition. Your kids have plenty of childhood trauma to blog about, why not remove Christmas tree trauma from the list? You might not have the best Christmas ever, but you’ll have a “better Christmas than last year.”