The Auburn Police Department responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between March 26 and April 1:
Assault: 7:32 a.m., 801 Auburn Way N. Police arrested some guy for vandalism and for assaulting another person at Fred Meyer.
Sex offender: 3:29 p.m., East Main Street. A sex offender failed to register as such, for which police busted him.
Shoplifting en-masse: 5:23 p.m., 1102 Outlet Collection Way SW. A group of aspiring cellphone thieves thieved a cellphone.
Guzzle and git: 6:34 p.m., 110 Cross St. SE. The guy was willing to swill the booze, but when it came time to settle his tab, eh, not so much. For this wrongdoing, police arrested him.
Burglary: 10:13 p.m., 6137 Hazel Loop SE. A woman returned to her apartment only to find her front door busted inwards.
Trespassing: 11:28 p.m., 101 Auburn Way S. Police arrested some guy for trespassing, and in mid-trespass stealing canned fruit of undisclosed quantity and deliciousness.
Assault: 300 block of I Street Southeast. A girl assaulted her father’s fianceé, and police arrested her for it.
Threatening: 6:14 a.m., 4200 block of A St. SE. Somebody threatened someone else, and the one who received the threat told police all about it.
Theft from motor vehicle: 3:35 p.m., 614 E. Main St. From a vehicle did someone steal a Chromebook.