Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between July 30 and Aug. 3:
Theft: Overnight, 4000 block of Auburn Way North. A thief, or thieves, slipped into a vehicle under cover of darkness and stole undisclosed tools of undisclosed value.
Harassment: 4:12 p.m., 3900 block of A Street Southeast. Somebody harassed a woman with unwanted text messages.
Vandalism: 1:30 p.m., 12401 SE 320th St. Somebody took out their angst on a hapless parking booth.
Scram! 9:27 a.m., 420 26th St. NE. When the folks at Alignment on Wheels had had all they could take from an unruly man, out that dude went, under order not to show his face at that establishment again until at least 2026.
Found property: 3 p.m., 340 E Main St. An Auburn resident made his way to the Auburn Justice Center to surrender a box of ammunition that had lost all of its former allure for him.
Theft: 9:30 a.m., 30600 block of 132nd Avenue Southeast. Someone stole someone else’s riding lawn mower.
Misfire: 9:44 p.m., 1400 block of 22nd Street Northeast. Some guy accidentally shot himself in the foot.
Assault: 11:30 a.m., 2802 Auburn Way S. A man spat in a security guard’s face, and police busted him for it.
Theft: 11:45 a.m., 2117 Auburn Way S. Staff at the Muckleshoot Bingo Hall called police to report the theft of an undisclosed amount of cash from a patron.
Assault: 8:55 p.m., 12700 block of 312th Street. Police arrested a guy who’d mistaken his ex-girlfriend for a punching bag.