Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between July 23 and 26:
Vandalism: 4 p.m., 1692 Lake Tapps Parkway SE. A man, unaware that cameras were watching, drove away from a gas pump with hose and nozzle still attached to his vehicle, damaging the apparatus. The man stopped, inspected the damage to his car, placed the broken nozzle back in its holster and, without a word to the gas station, drove off.
Theft: 10:30 p.m., 1692 Lake Tapps Parkway SE. A suspect entered the Lake Tapps Chevron, craftily secreted a 24-ounce beer down the front of his pants, then, despite the earnest protestations of the clerk, sashayed out without paying for or returning said fermented beverage.
Commercial burglary: Overnight, 2901 Auburn Way S. A burglar burgled an undisclosed something from the Sherwood Gardens Apartments.
Theft: 9:36 a.m., 2504 Auburn Way N. Somebody stole an undisclosed amount of money from Rainier Arms, LLC.
Theft of purse: 7:45 a.m., 600 block of L Street Southeast. A woman came into the lobby of the Auburn Police Department to complain that some lowlife had stolen her purse from her vehicle overnight.
Flower pot bandit: Overnight, 100 block of 17th Street Southeast. Somebody stole two flower pots from their rightful owner overnight.
Vandalism: 12:55 p.m., 4005 West Valley Highway N. RW Construction reported that someone had cut a surveillance camera cord at its place of business on July 21.
Theft of vehicle: 11 a.m., 3220 Ron Crockett Drive NW. Somebody stole a tan, 2007 Dodge Ram from the Washington Thoroughbred Breeders’ and Owners’ Association.
Trespassing: 12:30 p.m., 2600 block of 18th Street Southeast. A man called police to report that a man who had been previously trespassed was back at the residence, and still unwanted.