Auburn police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between Jan. 13 and 18:
Jan. 13
Theft: Overnight, 12700 block of Southeast 295th Street. Somebody unknown stole a company truck, make undisclosed, value undisclosed, belonging to a company also undisclosed.
Theft: 8:24 a.m., 2000 block of Elm Street Southeast. Somebody stole property undisclosed of value undisclosed from a vehicle parked in a residential driveway.
Trespassing: 12700 block of Southeast 312th Street. Someone not wanted for some reason at some place learned about his or her undesirability and was shown the exit.
Theft: 10:28 2802 Auburn Way S. Somebody reached into a woman’s car and swiped her purse while she was pumping gas five feet away.
Shoplifting: Noon, 762 Outlet Collection Drive SW. A woman stole stuff and tried to return said stuff for a cash refund, so police did their stuff, first arresting the shoplifter and then stowing her safely away in jail, without the stuff.
Vandalism: 12:29 p.m., 12500 block of Southeast 312th St. Having broken a window, a man was trying to steal from an Auburn woman’s vehicle when an employee of the apartment complex where the woman lived interrupted the man and chased away his thieving carcass.
Dog bite: 5:06 p.m., 2300 block of M Street Northeast. A dog bit an Auburn resident, was impounded and taken to the Auburn Valley Humane Society Animal Shelter for quarantine. Auburn’s animal control officer ticketed the dog’s owner.
Vandalism: 3:37 p.m., 3600 block of Auburn Way North. A person involved in a street fight got punched in the face then damaged a parked vehicle belonging to a person who had had nothing to do with the fight.
Forgery: 8:31 p.m., 1539 21st St. SE. A cashier confronted a man who’d given him a bogus $5 bill, and the man took to his heels.
Vandalism: Overnight, 505 17th St. SE. Somebody took out his or her angst on a wholly innocent fence at Holy Family School.
Jan. 14
Shoplifting: 5:30 p.m., 1407 Auburn Way S. An unknown male — all right, he knows who he is — stole electric heated gloves valued at $169.99 from Eagle Leather, Inc.
Theft: 11:54 p.m., 220 15th St. NE. Somebody ripped a video surveillance camera away from the exterior of a building.
Trespassing: 9:20 p.m., 320 block of 4th Street Southeast. Police arrested two people after finding them in a shed posted “no trespassing”.
Trespassed from Jack in the Box: 7:49 a.m., 340 15th St. NE. Jack told a naughty man to hit the road and not to come back no more, no more, no more.
Shoplifting: 11:27 a.m., 762 Outlet Collection Drive SW. Police arrested a fellow for trying to steal $35.88 in undisclosed merchandise from Walmart.
Trespassing: 1:18 p.m., 242 12th St. SE. Police busted a man and a woman for trespassing in a vacant house clearly marked with no trespassing signs. The man explained that he had only just arrived at the house, hoping to have “a little fun” with the woman.” The man complicated his issues with Joe Law by having two sets of brass knuckles on his person.
Boosting Bourbon: 9:06 a.m., 1231 Auburn Way N. Staff at a Rite Aid reported that a known male had shoplifted a liter of Jim Beam bourbon and skedaddled on foot.
Jan. 15
Fraud: 2:53 p.m., 4010 A St. SE. Albertsons Supermarket complained that a female had tried to use a bogus $20 bill to make a purchase.
Assault with a firearm: 4:24 p.m., 2802 Auburn Way S. While pointing a handgun at another man during an argument, man one threatened to kill man two. Police arrested the threatener at the scene.
Jan. 16
Theft: Overnight, 240 Auburn Way S. Thieves cut three sections of wire belonging to Century Link from three telephone poles. A business owner alerted police to what had happened after he noticed in the morning that his Internet service wasn’t working.
Burglary: 10:40 a.m., 31100 block of 116th Avenue Southeast. A burglar or burglars helped themself(ves) to $4,000 in flooring tools they’d found in a man’s shed.
Jan. 17
Burglary: 1355 West Valley Highway S. A man told police that somebody had broken into his company’s storage yard and stolen many items.
Threatening: 500 block of 23rd Street Southeast. A woman complained that her ex-boyfriend, the father of her son, had threatened to put “a hit” on her.
Jan. 18
Trespassing: 5:40 a.m., 2202 Auburn Way. A 7-Eleven gave two misbehaving ginks the boot.
Theft: 8:53 a.m., 501 Auburn Way N. Somebody stole a golf cart from an area business.
Shoplifting: 9:04 p.m., 1406 Lake Tapps Parkway SE. Police arrested a boy for shoplifting, well, something worth something.
Vandalism: 12:15 p.m., 5100 block of Frontage Road. Somebody trying to steal a truck punched a truck’s ignition.
Theft: 6:18 p.m., 12800 block of Southeast 296th Way. Somebody stole a blue light bulb from a front porch.
Controlled substance: 9:45 a.m., 2500 block of K Street Northeast. After police arrested a woman for having felony drugs, they booked her into the SCORE jail.
