Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between April 29 and May 6:
Theft: 4:20 p.m., 1800 block of Howard Road Southeast. A woman entered the Auburn Police Station to report the prior theft of a personal cellphone she had left all on its lonesome while she ate.
Shoplifting: 4010 A St. SE. A woman walked out of Albertsons with a shopping cart full of groceries, to which the store objected, and for which police busted her.
Theft: 1101 Outlet Collection Way SW. Somebody stole a phone another person had left in a bathroom stall at The Outlet Collection mall.
Strong arm street robbery: 3:12 p.m.. 101 Auburn Way S. A strong-armed robbery went down in Safeway’s parking lot.
Felony eluding: 11:24 p.m., 1600 Auburn Way S. Police tried to stop some dude for an undisclosed incident of traffic wrongdoing, but he bolted with his vehicle and crashed, whereupon police ended his dalliance with the dark side.
Car theft: 7:05 a.m., 5400 block of South 331st Street. A car’s owner left it warming up, and a thief materialized in those moments to steal it.
Bomb threat or attack: 3 p.m., 28900 124th Avenue SE. Somebody wrote a threat in a bathroom at Auburn Mountainview High School.
Vandalism: 12:25 a.m., 802 A St. SE. Graffitests graffited a business.
Sex offender: 340 E. Main St. A sex offender failed to register as such.
Aircraft problem: 6:40 p.m., 2301 E St. NE. A pilot performing high-speed taxiing maneuvers on the Auburn Airport runway flipped his plane.
Assault: 8:30 p.m., 2402 Auburn Way S. A man earned himself a criminal citation for spitting in a woman’s face at the Muckleshoot Casino.
Trespassing: 2:15 p.m., 102 W. Main St. Finding a woman too much of a pain-in-the-head to be on its premises, Oddfellas gave her the boot.
Theft: 9 p.m., 110 2nd St. SW. Somebody stole a set of keys from the Sounder Station parking garage.
Scam: 3:09 p.m., 1900 block of A Street Southeast. A resident who tried to buy a Cadillac Escalade online using gift cards instead found herself out of $1,500.
Burglary: 7:15 a.m., 313 37th St. SE. A bad person slithered through an unlocked open window into a store and swiped pop, iced tea and undisclosed food stuffs.