At this moment, many of our distracted countrymen glare at each other over a rigid barrier of hardened suspicion and hate.

Men and women who, regardless of political persuasion, so prize their own rigidity and unwillingness to bend, they raise it the level of a virtue, and clap others on the back for being just as stiff. Some even compete to be the most fanatically unmovable of all, as if that were a badge of honor.

Look around. See what this, “I am right, you are demon spawn” has made of us in the first quarter of the 21st Century. We are at each others’ throats — divided, angry.

I have written before of the 80-year-old man, an unreconstructed bigot, whom the Auburn Globe profiled more than 40 years ago who said with pride, “I haven’t changed my opinions in 75 years!”

Doing the math he meant that by the tender age of 5, he already had his mind made up about anyone who didn’t look and think exactly as he did: Black people, Catholics, Chinese, Hispanic, you name it. For this equal opportunity hater, others were lesser human beings, if not animals.

Think about what this tells us, After 5, that guy had nothing left to learn — all figured out. The years between youth and old age showed and taught him nothing. He misspent them all. So he never yearned, never learned to be a better man.

Metaphorically speaking, one could add nothing to the old man’s cup: it was already filled to the brim.

The polar opposite of that old man was my college roommate, Randy.

I have never forgotten the day I explained to him a theory I’d concocted.. He didn’t look at his watch, tap his feet, waiting impatiently until my gums stopped flapping to pounce and tell me how wrong, how stupid I was. Randy listened intently to what I had to say. He asked questions.

A week later, Randy and I talked it over.

“I’ve been thinking about what we talked about last week. It doesn’t work, and I’ll tell you why,” he said. And then he gave me his reasons.

I owe him for that. Because of him I have come believe that the best people are those who, confronted by compelling information that challenges or contradicts their beliefs, are open to changing their minds.

Too often aging makes us pig-headed. Yet, it seems to me it should have the opposite effect. That as we grow, the more we look around the world, we should realize how little we know. Especially about that devil, human nature.

Yes, I can hear some of you say, ‘that is your opinion.’ Very well, it’s my opinion. But unlike the old man, 63 years of experience, observations and learning went into forming it. The idea of having the whole shebang figured out by the time I hit kindergarten is beyond pathetic.

Too often I lose my cool, become part of the problem. But I believe one’s willingness to reconsider our beliefs is the gold more gold than gold. Not because I’m great at it but because I’ve seen its positive effect in the world.

If we are to solve our problems, we need to be more of the second type, and less of the first.

President Lincoln left us a record of his own mental flexibility. And if Honest Abe was willing to change his mind when a better way presented itself to him, it meant he knew how to listen deeply to others.

I like that.

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Robert Whale can be reached at robert.whale@auburn-reporter.com.