Due to changes in schedule and routine that children might not look forward to, the summer-to-school transition can cause stress within a family. Think about the last time your boss asked you to change your work schedule.
There are actions you can put into play to make anticipated changes in your children’s lives easier for your children and yourself. Rules, routines, and consistency are the most efficient aides toward helping things run smoothly.
Make family rules about eating times, bedtimes and housekeeping, and stick to them. When you establish a rule, make sure you have each child’s attention. Children are literal thinkers and rarely hold more than one thought at a time. Simple, clear rules are more likely to be understood and followed – such as allowing no cookies before dinner, and getting to bed by a certain hour each night. If you give too much attention to broken rules, it will make the rules into a punishment. At the opposite end, if you don’t keep the rules, they aren’t rules. Your children want to please you, but it might take practice. When they try to do as you ask, give them praise and encouragement. No one learns new behaviors on the first try, but you will be leading your children in the right direction by approving their efforts.
Routines help children understand regularity. Follow a ‘work, then fun’ philosophy. Not only will your children learn to do their chores before going to a movie with friends, they will learn to do homework before playing their video games—play activities are a built-in reward system. Your children are still learning to do things the way you want them done, so set a good example by acting with purpose. Take a few minutes in the evening to lay out clothing for the next day. You might also prepare the table in the evening for the next day’s breakfast. Give your approval when your children follow the routine.
Consistency adds to any child’s sense of organization. Meal times, chores, and fun time should be predictable; stick to the plan. Be consistent in your reactions to your children’s struggles to learn the correct way to do things. Praise honest effort, ignore mistakes and misbehaviors when possible, and make sure that your children know there will be consequences for problem behaviors. Remember that a child is more likely to imitate what they see you do than they are to do as you say.
The countdown to school: Begin practicing a school routine. Decide what needs to be done before leaving the house and what time each child needs to begin their day. Have a family talk. Explain what time each person must leave in the morning and how this will relate to the time your children will have to prepare. Decide when your children need to begin their day and what actions must be taken. State the consequences for being late, and follow through. A child who has rules, routine and consistency will find contentment in school and at home.
Ronda Bishop is a licensed mental health counselor and experienced parenting educator. She has worked as a counselor, teacher, and life coach for the past 15 years. Questions for Ronda can be e-mailed to letters@reporternewspapers.com or Mslrbishop@comcast.net.
