Auburn Police responded to the following calls for service, among many others, between May 3 and 10:

May 3

Trespassing: 10:19 a.m., 814 Auburn Way S. The Brown Bear Car Wash scrubbed a misbehaving woman from its premises for five sudsless years because of deeds dirty yet undisclosed.

Trespassing: 11:07 a.m., 102 15th St. NE. Police told a woman she had better not return to a certain motel, the scene of earlier frowned-upon actions undisclosed. But did she listen? Not at all. So upon her forbidden return, police busted this woman and booked her into the SCORE jail.

Burglary: 3:45 p.m., 800 4th St. NE. Somebody burgled something undisclosed from Auburn High School.

Vandalism: 2:10 p.m., 6600 block of Francis Loop SE. Some apple chucker chucked an apple at a hapless house.

May 4

Aggressive beggary: 5:12 p.m., 500 Auburn Way S. For trespassing and for putting too much vim and verve into his begging, police arrested a man.

Vandalism: 4:58 p.m., 2900 block of 22nd St. SE. Somebody trying to burglarize a house damaged a doorknob in so doing.

May 5

Theft: 2 p.m., 2901 Auburn Way S. Somebody stole an Auburn woman’s wallet at the Muckleshoot Casino.

Trespassing: 7:26 p.m., 1428 Auburn Way S. A woman got all bent out of shape and wouldn’t straighten out, so Auburn Chiropractic applied the boot.

May 6

Theft: Overnight, 1000 block of 42nd Court Northeast. A thief entered an open garage, reached into a vehicle and swiped an iPod.

Theft: 11:15 a.m., 4040 Auburn Way S. Before the man could get to the cell phone UPS had just delivered to his front door, a thief stole it.

May 7

Criminal mastermind at work: 4:59 p.m., 762 Outlet Collection Drive SW. Somebody stole a bike from Walmart, then returned to the scene of the crime the next day, where police cited, busted and released him.

May 8

Vandalism: 10:50 p.m., 800 block of Auburn Way South. A male unknown damaged a known garbage can lid.

Trespassing: 9:48 a.m., 621 6th St. SE. Police busted two people for being inside an abandoned house.

Theft: 2:15 a.m., 500 block of 21st Street Southeast. Somebody stole landscaping power tools from an open truck bed.

Vandalism: 7 p.m.. 200 block of 15th Street Southeast. Guy A’s neighbor, guy B, ran over A’s bike, intentionally, A contends.

May 9

Theft: 5:43 a.m., 700 block of 37th Street Southeast. Somebody stole a flashlight, cigarettes and change from a vehicle.

Animal problem: 9:51 a.m., 2901 Auburn Way S. Finding a dog supplied with a dish of water in an unlocked car with a window rolled down less than 1 inch, a man tried to contact the canine’s owner, no luck, so the pooch ended up at the Auburn Valley Humane Society shelter.

Burglary: 5:40 a.m., 2705 Auburn Way N. A male of undisclosed age broke into three shipping containers stored in a fenced yard behind a local business and stole a Cannondale Mountain Bike. Nobody could identify the burglar.

Theft: 2:30 a.m., 1540 29th St. SE. Thieves broke into several cars overnight at a southside apartment complex.

May 10

Theft: 7:29 a.m., 2402 Auburn Way S. Police arrested a man for thieving something from a bar at the Muckleshoot Casino and for refusing to leave said watering hole when asked.

Vandalism: 9:32 a.m., 1000 block of 18th Street Southeast. A fellow’s deeply unhappy girlfriend smashed his table, keyed his two cars and then rammed one of them into the other.